This past weekend I decided to take a vow of silence for 3 days. It was a surprise to everyone, especially because I did it for religious purposes. This vow was an experiment in both observation and reflection, that hopefully I will be able to concisely explain with three main things: the borrowed, the new, and the silent.
What I borrowed was the inspiration to look for my own religion. It came from a little known book called Eat, Pray, Love. Maybe you've heard of it? ;) I shudder slightly at the idea of including this because at the mention of anything so mainstream people automatically tune out because now my efforts are unoriginal and generic. I love the book, however, and won't deny the role it played in helping me reevaluate who I am as an individual. In the book, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about religion being the path you take to reach God, but believes there is no one set path to finding divinity. I relished in that thought because I have always felt that religion can be a wonderfully powerful force in so many lives, yet the Catholic path was not one that I could wholeheartedly support. Catholicism, like many western religions, is so set in its rituals and stories, whereas I am more so interested in the philosophies on how best to live life. What seems to happen is that people become so dedicated the rituals that they forget the purpose. My own grandmother completely identifies with the belief that non-Catholics will not be allowed in Heaven, therefore my Aunts who visit other Christian churches must be warned that they are risking their afterlife. The examples are everywhere, but such beliefs have never made sense to me. The yogic path detailed during her time in India was so awe inspiring because Yogis believe that God will always respond (to any expression of faith) as long as the effort is sincere.
So my something borrowed are two quotes from her book: The first quote is from the Hindu Upanishads, "People follow different paths, straight or crooked, according to their temperament, depending on which they consider best, or most appropriate- and all reach You, just as rivers enter the ocean."
AND
"The Hopi Indians thought that the world's religions each contained one spiritual thread, and that these threads are always seeking each other, wanting to join. When all the threads are finally woven together they will form a rope that will pull us out of this dark cycle of history and into the next realm."
The new thing in my life, as ridiculously corny as it may sound, is my devotion. It is a devotion to myself, to religion, and to others. I was surprised when I began my vow that I received strong remarks protesting because "I was not religious." Honestly, I had never strongly identified with one set religion. I never imagined I that it was impossible now for me to suddenly be taking such an interest in my faith. The fact that I was not doing this in accordance with any major holiday or observance further discredited me. It is as if I was not allowed to do this on my own, to choose my own rules. I view it in the exact opposite light. I took initiative in my life to make a change, without someone else telling me to do so. I sat idly by in my own life without working for something greater, without committing to anything. Now, here I am deciding that there is no time like the present, only to be told what I was not. What could be a greater sign of dedication to religion- searching for enlightenment on my own or waiting until I am forced to do so by a practice like Lent or confession? I do not mean to take away the significance, only to illustrate a contrast because for many of those rituals people often do little more than go through the motions.
Regardless of the religion, devotion and faith work side by side. Devotion is consistently putting forth the effort, and faith is knowing that something positive will come of it even when there is no guarantee.
Silence is probably the hardest to explain. Gilbert talks about how a vow of silence actually did not fit her personality because she was such a talkative bubbly individual. As someone who talks A LOT, I still wanted to undergo a period of silence. I felt like I never fully learned to think before I speak. In order to better communicate with myself (& everyone else!) I have to learn to control my thoughts and words. During silence I am free to focus on my thoughts without having to explain them to anyone else or mold my words around their reactions. In a time of reflection it seemed especially important for me to have this opportunity.
I know it may not all make perfect sense, but it is not a journey that can be neatly folded up into blog version. I will continue trying though!
-Monica
