Wander lust...

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.  The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before. -Albert Einstein

The image is actually my itouch background, to keep me motivated.  Currently, in the process of applying to study abroad in Spain for the spring semester.  Already accepted to London in the fall.  Tomorrow is officially my last day of finals.  Yup, I can almost taste the freedom.  Cross your fingers for me!

Keep Calm & Carry On

For those days... you know the ones.
A blog of delightful surprises.
http://keepcalmandcarryaquotebook.tumblr.com/


"Don't be like the rest of them, darling."

"Sometimes God doesn't give you what you think you want, not because you don't deserve it, but because you deserve so much more."

"If you are looking for the love of your life, stop.  He will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love."

The fact that this saying comes from the UK makes me love it even more.  I cannot wait to live in London. Only four mere months away! 

Delayed Gratification

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Ernest Hemingway's six-word memoir.  It sends chills down my spine.

I mention it because I did the same exercise in class a month or two ago. I chose "because the means are my life." At the time I was enthralled with a particular quote that goes along the lines of: The ends never justify the means, because the means are your life. 

Although I have been told I misinterpreted it, let me be quite frank by saying I do not care. To me it sums up so perfectly my frustration with just about everyone my age.  Life is so much more than whats nexts and those days waiting for the weekend.  Everyone is so concerned with where they are going that they are barely scratching the surface of what life could be right now.  There is a loss of passion.  I, for one, do not feel alive if I have not recently cried, smiled, or trembled with fear.  It means I have lost touch with what is meaningful.  Yet, all I ever hear is I cannot wait to get this over with so I can go do this or be that.  What about today? What about right now? 

There will always be duties we would rather not handle, but they should never be allowed to overshadow what we love or we risk losing everything.  Its not where I end up that concerns me, it is how I get there.  Each day a lesson.  I would like to do and be a great deal of things, yet those ideas change as new inspirations find me.  Certain passions hold true- to serve others, to explore my identity, to do that which I thought I could never do.  What change are the ways I find to manifest them.  If I only focused on the outcome then all the ideas that got left behind would have been wastes of time.  I know for a fact that is not true.  Each idea, each moment led me here to this moment.  I was always meant to get here.  

Forever on the fringe,

Yours truly. 

Come and find me...

Beautiful illustrations by Kris Tate.  

SugarSprout

Incredibly happy that they finally have Instagram for Android. :)


Very peaceful morning as I contemplate how I've changed over the years.  Primarily, the childish thought  that I could make major life changes overnight.  Diet changes are a perfect example.  If I messed up, suddenly it was all wasted, and then I would keep putting off when to "start over."  The temptation of not being allowed something always made it more appealing, making it so difficult not to cheat!  The difference is now I know that I am making the choice not to cheat myself- no one else's opinion is keeping me from it.


I'm a vegetarian of about 5 or so months, and if I ever slip up I go right back to strictly observing a no meat diet.  I used to be so concerned with what others would say if they new I had messed up, because truthfully there are some people who feel a need to discredit the accomplishments or choices of others.  Even to this day I have had a "friend" say I am not a real vegetarian, because I had a craving for meat before.  Or, perhaps it is because I do not fit perfectly into any of the vegetarian categories.  I do eat some dairy products, like goat cheese, but I do not drink milk or consume eggs very often.  I like almond, coconut, and soy milk.  I eat no meat or seafood, except shrimp on rare occasion.  I try to limit fast food as much as possible for the fact I believe people should be very aware of what goes into their bodies- and no one in their right minds would consider McDonald's a legitimate nutritious option if they really thought about what goes into it.  It is an indulgence, an indulgence that has become all to common place.  I chose this path because I felt it was the healthiest for my body, someone else might say to be truly healthy I need to do so and so...


The truth is- no one else's opinion really matters if you have come to terms with yourself.  It is similar to my last post about me being attacked for "not being religious."  Life is a continuous opportunity to start over.  What I was not yesterday, I can become today.  What I did not do 30 minutes ago, I can do now.  Do not lose the many chances in front of you by making excuses.  Every decision throughout your day is an opportunity for improvement.  Today, I already made the choices to wake up early, to be a more consistent blogger, and to keep my diet light and healthy (I gave in to pizza yesterday!).  These are small choices on the whole of things, but the philosophy can be applied to larger choices as well.  I challenge you not to give in to your past vices, to move forward, and accept bad choices when they happen.  Never dwell in the past or you lose your opportunity to live in the present.


Move forward.

Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Silent

This past weekend I decided to take a vow of silence for 3 days.  It was a surprise to everyone, especially because I did it for religious purposes. This vow was an experiment in both observation and reflection, that hopefully I will be able to concisely explain with three main things: the borrowed, the new, and the silent.


What I borrowed was the inspiration to look for my own religion.  It came from a little known book called Eat, Pray, Love.  Maybe you've heard of it? ;)  I shudder slightly at the idea of including this because at the mention of anything so mainstream people automatically tune out because now my efforts are unoriginal and generic.  I love the book, however, and won't deny the role it played in helping me reevaluate who I am as an individual.  In the book, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about religion being the path you take to reach God, but believes there is no one set path to finding divinity.  I relished in that thought because I have always felt that religion can be a wonderfully powerful force in so many lives, yet the Catholic path was not one that I could wholeheartedly support.  Catholicism, like many western religions, is so set in its rituals and stories, whereas I am more so interested in the philosophies on how best to live life.  What seems to happen is that people become so dedicated the rituals that they forget the purpose.  My own grandmother completely identifies with the belief that non-Catholics will not be allowed in Heaven, therefore my Aunts who visit other Christian churches must be warned that they are risking their afterlife.  The examples are everywhere, but such beliefs have never made sense to me.  The yogic path detailed during her time in India was so awe inspiring because Yogis believe that God will always respond (to any expression of faith) as long as the effort is sincere.


So my something borrowed are two quotes from her book: The first quote is from the Hindu Upanishads, "People follow different paths, straight or crooked, according to their temperament, depending on which they consider best, or most appropriate- and all reach You, just as rivers enter the ocean."
AND
"The Hopi Indians thought that the world's religions each contained one spiritual thread, and that these threads are always seeking each other, wanting to join.  When all the threads are finally woven together they will form a rope that will pull us out of this dark cycle of history and into the next realm."


The new thing in my life, as ridiculously corny as it may sound, is my devotion.  It is a devotion to myself, to religion, and to others.  I was surprised when I began my vow that I received strong remarks protesting because "I was not religious."  Honestly, I had never strongly identified with one set religion. I never imagined I that it was impossible now for me to suddenly be taking such an interest in my faith.  The fact that I was not doing this in accordance with any major holiday or observance further discredited me.  It is as if I was not allowed to do this on my own, to choose my own rules. I view it in the exact opposite light.  I took initiative in my life to make a change, without someone else telling me to do so.  I sat idly by in my own life without working for something greater, without committing to anything.  Now, here I am deciding that there is no time like the present, only to be told what I was not.  What could be a greater sign of dedication to religion- searching for enlightenment on my own or waiting until I am forced to do so by a practice like Lent or confession?  I do not mean to take away the significance, only to illustrate a contrast because for many of those rituals people often do little more than go through the motions.
Regardless of the religion, devotion and faith work side by side.  Devotion is consistently putting forth the effort, and faith is knowing that something positive will come of it even when there is no guarantee.


Silence is probably the hardest to explain.  Gilbert talks about how a vow of silence actually did not fit her personality because she was such a talkative bubbly individual.  As someone who talks A LOT, I still wanted to undergo a period of silence.  I felt like I never fully learned to think before I speak.  In order to better communicate with myself (& everyone else!) I have to learn to control my thoughts and words.  During silence I am free to focus on my thoughts without having to explain them to anyone else or mold my words around their reactions.  In a time of reflection it seemed especially important for me to have this opportunity.


I know it may not all make perfect sense, but it is not a journey that can be neatly folded up into blog version.  I will continue trying though!
-Monica

Crazed and Confused

Our generation’s preoccupation with “being crazy” and the stigma around seeking help that goes along with it are two things our society could do without.

This mad preoccupation is not defined by our oddities, but rather our obsession with them.  Until recently, I never put much thought into just how common the fear of being truly diagnosed or seen as “crazy” really is.  Crazy is of course defined as anything less than  the standard for “normal” that has been set by others.

Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry, highlights the ordinary fear of insanity one might have, and the not so ordinary members of society.  The truth is society devours dysfunction and failure because it can laugh or gasp at it.  No one wants to read or watch anything that is completely commonplace (whether they are watching reality show stars or reading about political leaders). The access to so many more stories about disorders, as well as stories of those mentally unstable that manage to splash across the news gives people all kinds of new things to fear.

Ronson emphasizes the media is constantly exploiting the madness in our society, it therefore controls conformity as well.  By showing us what we should not be, it is consequently telling us what we should be. What is most insane of all in today’s society is that recent generations are so caught up in fitting in that the fear of being anything but normal is making them feel insane.

Society so often negatively defines individuals by their flaws. It should be no surprise therefore that now one must hide anything that could be viewed as a flaw, turning normal experiences, human emotions, into something unhealthy.  A 2007 survey conducted by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, on non-institutionalized civilians in US population across 35 states, showed that 40% of persons in those states were experiencing serious psychological distress, and of those 53.4% were not receiving any treatment.  Whether the need to conform is creating or exacerbating issues in mental health is unclear. 

Anyone who has every taken an introductory psychology course has most likely heard a warning: not to self-diagnose or diagnose others. It is easy to draw connections from classroom knowledge to their own personality characteristic and of those around them.  It would be nearly impossible to not have at least some of the qualities from the extensive Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV), but just one overwhelming case of anxiety during finals week does not make an   anxiety disorder.  These self-diagnostics are exactly what cause the distress, more so than any actual condition.