Traveling creates a constant sense of upheaval. My world is transitory- nothing is permanent. As much as I love travel, there exists a slightly sinking feeling in knowing that everything has a time limit. Now as I near the end of my time in Spain I can't help experience 1) Inevitable excitement to return home mixed with mild homesickness 2) Sadness knowing that all the people and places I have come to know will be left behind, uncertain of when or if I will ever see them again.
As I debate traveling more in the future, I am caught between the allure of new experiences and the fact that once again I must put the rest of my life on pause. I have met amazing individuals, seen beautiful things, created my own world within the wonderful places I've lived in & visited this year. This makes goodbyes even more difficult. I am on borrowed time in all these situations, never fully putting down roots because of the risk of having to leave some part of me behind.
In a way it is lonely. Never having your friends and family around to share in the new experiences. Never being able to build relationships without feeling like a countdown until goodbye.
Let me be clear however, I regret nothing about this year. My time abroad has completely changed me for the better. As the saying goes "It is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." I have so many new found loves because of this year, even if the forever impending goodbyes make them distinctly bittersweet.
